As a young boy, which cartoon or live kids’ TV character did you have a crush on?

I'm only slightly embarrassed to admit I had a crush on Lindsay Wagner's character, Jamie Summers, when she appeared on "The Six Million Dollar Man". I don't remember watching her later on "The Bionic Woman", though. Maybe I had moved on emotionally by that point.


Is your house Team Miley or Team Selena?

While both my daughters like Miley just fine, we're all on Team Selena, definitely. My friend Peter Murrieta used to run "The Wizards of Waverly Place", and he was nice enough to get my daughters in for a taping last year. Selena couldn't have been sweeter to them, and she even posed for pictures with them. She seems very genuine in addition to being very talented.


As a writer/performer on Conan, you’ve dreamt up ridiculously funny concepts. Have your children’s antics ever surprised even your imagination?

First of all, thanks for the compliment. As far as my kids go, their antics are often much funnier to me than anything I've written. About a month ago, for example, my 8 year-old daughter Colette laid a bunch of her drawings out on the coffee table and then asked for a cereal bowl, some paper, and tape. I later noticed that next to the drawings was a little bowl that said, "Tips".


As a father of girls in their delicate tween-teen years, what advice would you give to others suffering the same plight?

I wish I had some helpful advice, but I still feel pretty clueless with my 12 year old and 8 year old. I'm dreading the teen years, that's for sure. My dad recently once showed my sister
some family photos from her high school years, and pointed out that his hair had gone from black to gray between Freshman and Senior year.

Have you compiled any dating rules?

My only rule is to avoid thinking about the fact that they will ever eventually date. I'm still in denial about that. My older daughter Nora seems to find Taylor Lautner to be rather hunky, but that may be mostly a response to peer pressure at this point. Since my youngest daughter, Colette, is only 8, she hasn't really mentioned any crushes yet, although she does seem to like the Twilight dudes like Lautner, probably as a result of their aggressive marketing.

You and your wife are both trained improvisers. How has that helped parenting?

I guess it helps us roll with the madness when things go off the rails, which they often do. It also probably helps that we're used to the unexpected. We still feel pretty lost and caught off-guard most of the time, though.



Fill in the blank:

If my kids see the video of the time I had to ___________ they will never stop making fun of me.

Dress up as Frankenstein in a fairy princess dress on "Conan".


I want to be my wife for one day just so I could ___________________.

Figure out why in the hell she married me. I'm very glad she did, but I don't understand it.


If you could outsource any aspect of parenting (aspects of pregnancy and childbirth included), what would it be?

Discipline, anti-drug warnings, and driving lessons.


What would be your dream role?

A voiceover for any character in any Pixar movie EVER. I'd even take a one-line role as a passing blowfish or monosyllabic cyborg.