The Quickie with Stephnie Weir

When did the acting bug really sink its teeth into you and how did your parents react?

My Dad was a local celebrity, of sorts,  known for his extensive stage work in community theater. By day owned a junk yard and used carlot, but by night he was the Burt Reynolds of the OdessaTexas theater scene - if Burt Reynolds was more of a stage actor.  I got the bug watching him play Noah in The Flowering Peach.  My parents have always been supportive, although my mother, who was the Postmaster's secretary, couldn't comprehend me passing up a career as a mailman.

 

Growing up, what comedy shows resonated with you?

The usual suspects... Mary Tyler Moore, Carol Burnette, The Bob Newhart Show, Cheers, All in the Family, MASH... And my family loved, LOVED, Fawlty Towers with John Cleese. There were only twelve episodes and we watched them any time they were showing on PBS.  John Cleese laid the foundation for my love of physical comedy.  

 

You are famous for your tremendous character work on MadTV. We have to ask, which character was your favorite?

Am I? Famous? Really? Wow. I thought it would feel different. Anyway,  my favorite character is Angela Wright. The eighth grader who made home videos. She was me. I loved Dot, too. And Mrs. Campbell. Children and old people. Those are the comedy targets I go after. 

 

Would you rather have your character Dr. Kylie Johnson as your OBGYN or your kids' pediatrician?

Both!! I have great respect and admiration for women who have the courage to dress and behave like sexy babies. 

 

As a young girl, which cartoon or live kids' TV character did you have a crush on?

I maintained platonic relationships with all my favorite cartoon characters, it's just easier that way. But, as far as live TV characters, I had crushes on Peter Brady, the Professor from Gilligan's Island and Mike Nesmith, from The Monkees. Which, I'm realizing is so odd because my husband is like all three of them rolled into one.  


If you created a kids' show (endless budget and everything was possible), what would it be like?

It would be a live action, ridiculous fantasy like The Bugaloos (they were a cute, young band of "bugs" who lived in a forest and  were tormented by the evil record producer Martha Rey, who lived in a Jukebox).  Mine would be about a misfit girl who finds a fully furnished, perfectly preserved, deserted castle in the forest behind her house and...then something else happens with talking animals, I'm not sure, yet. Or a grand variety show like the Kroft Supershow.


When did you first find yourself "in the weeds" as a parent and how did you recover?

When I was traveling alone with my three year old and six month old and thirty minutes in to a four hour airplane flight the oldest turned to me and said, "I'm done." It was all down hill from there.  The trip culminated with my usually sweet child taunting me with a booger on the end of her finger. She could see that I was desperately trying to nurse the little one to sleep and was trying not to jostle him around so I couldn't wrestle the booger away from her. She kept waving it around saying, "I'm going to eat this booger. I LOVE to eat boogers. Yum." I finally snatched it with the burp cloth when she got sloppy with her dodging and weaving.  She spent the remainder of the flight wailing, "Give me back my booger! I want my booger!" Exiting the airplane, I took the walk of shame with my head held high and told my daughter to do the same because we've all had bad days and eaten a booger or two.

I vowed to never take the children on a plane without my husband. And then promptly did it again.  

 

As a working actress, writer and mom, what is your secret to maintaining the balance and your sanity?

I have broadened the scale.  I don't strive for daily balance, I shoot for weekly, sometimes monthly balance.  There are stretches where I don't see the kids enough and I balance it by capitalizing on those stretches where I can spend every moment with them and we can play hooky and spend all day at the beach or go to a museum or have play dates at home. Same goes for exercise, date nights, cleaning the house, socializing with friends... I trust that there is an ebb and flow and I try to seize the opportunity that is in front of me. I've also REALLY relaxed on the house cleaning. As much as I relish a spotless kitchen, I remind myself that the house will not always be this messy.  And that my children are not going to be children for long.  

 

Your husband is also a brilliant improviser. How has being improvisers helped you as parents?

Sadly, not at all. Children are terrible improvisors.  They say "No" to everything. The have no group mind, it's always "me, me, me."  And you can't even "Yes" their ideas because...well, this goes against the very essence of non-judgmental ensemble improv, but...their initiations suck. They do.  Children shouldn't be driving cars.   No one needs a banana at 3am.  You can only ring someone's doorbell and ask for candy on Halloween.  The list is endless... 

 

Fill in the blank:

If my kids see the video of the time I had to throw-up as Rue Callahan they will never stop making fun of me.

I want to be my child for one day just so I could dress like a gypsy hobo magician.

If you could outsource any aspect of parenting (aspects of pregnancy and childbirth included), what would it be?

Making their meals.  I'm a horrible cook. Even I'm disgusted by what I make. I thank my lucky stars that my husband is a great cook and takes over that duty. 

 

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